- Pseudonym shows just HAVE TO start with "You Outta Know". Yes, it's a stupid superstition but I refuse to start a show with some other song. Even when/if we're not playing the song as a part of the gig, we HAVE to do our sound-check with it. Bass, no further argument. But which is my favorite song from our play list? Contrary to popular belief, it's NOT any of the Nirvana covers, it's 'Little Calvin'. I love that song. Bass, no further argument!
- Nirvana. Yes. To me it's so much more than *just* a band. I'm not a crazy Kurt Cobain fanatic, mind you. Don't judge me just because I decided to get him inked on my body when I was 17. Cobain signifies that particular turbulent phase of my life which has made me what I am today-for better or for worse. Everytime I look at the tattoo, I remember how lucky I am to be amongst the lucky few to have survived the holocaust and somehow, I give a whole lot of credit to Cobain's music for my current supposedly "sane" and "socially acceptable" lifestyle.
- Tattoos are something that I am quite fond of. But my tattoos have a thought behind them, a thought I want to keep with myself forever. I'm not like those jokers who get inked just for the sake of it or to look "cool". I think it's juvenile and it's stupid.
- And yet another clarification. A whole lot of people may dismiss me for being a know-it-all. But the fact remains that I value my intellect, or whatever little that I have left of it. I *do* read the Gita and that's the only reason why I got my favorite verses inked. Why on earth would someone want to randomly tattoo words on to their body if it had no meaning man? That's just stupid.
- Just because I read/have read the Gita does NOT mean that I am a religious person. I belong to that school of thought which believes that man created God in order to keep himself under control, for the fear of a "supreme authority" would keep him from doing wrong things. If paganism is not an acceptable religion, then going by that logic, neither is Hinduism, Islam, Christianity etc etc. Buddhism is something that I am quite convinced with though, it talks about the cycle of life, karma and moksha, but then again, once we die, that is the end of us. The cycle ends there-on death. I refuse to believe in reincarnation and all that. However, I am a very spiritual person. I believe that the ultimate power lies within ourselves and ourselves alone. The Gita, which is essentially a series of dialogues between Arjun and krishna, before the battle of Kurukshetra (for all those of you who didn't know!) is quite relevant in our lives. We just have to read and interpret from a different view, dismissing the halo of holiness that surrounds it.
Has it ever ocurred to the reader that Krishna may not exist at all and just be Arjun's conscience urging him to find his inner strength and go battle his own demons?
" I dwell not in people, nor do they dwell in ME,
Look to my Rajyoga resplendence!
I am their creator and sole-sustainer,
And on them I have no dependence."
(sorry, I could type out the verse in Sanskrit, this is a translation for better understanding)
How does this have anything to do with god? This is about man and these words have been spoken not by a "god" but by a mortal just like us. Who is Arjun but a common man, like all of us? Arjun was not entirely black OR white...both shades existed in him. He was grey-just like us. No one is entirely black or entirely white, entirely good or entirely bad, entirely powerful or entirely weak. We are all the same. The same shades of colour exist in all of us, we just choose to show the side that we think is more suitable so while some *choose* to be good and hide their bad side, most others *choose* to show their bad side, even though goodness lies in them.
- But how did such atheist-esque thoughts manifest themselves in my head? My mother is quite religious and so is my dad. I think it comes from the fact that my extended family is very tightly knit. SO much so that it doesn't feel like my extended family at all. The Sen family is a colourful one and boy am I lucky to have been born into this family or what! It's super accommodating, super varied and super liberal. Get-togethers seem more like picnics. But there are a few embarrassing moments once in a while. My kaku (who by the way is just 20) went to good old Oly for a drink with his friends and he walked in to find his (or rather our) grandfather (cousin grandfather? well, one of the senior most members in the family. so yeah) sitting there, enjoying his drink with his friends. It was embarrassing for the both of them but they never spoke about it ever again. Now, in a normal family, grandpop would have called up kaku's parents and let them know what their son was up to, but like I said, our family is cool. Everything goes, as long as it's within the limits. If there was a soap opera based on my family, I don't think it'd too too well. We're too happy a bunch. *touches wood*.So even if my parents and I have a not-so-great relationship, I still value my family. I wouldn't change anything about it-even the disconnect. Imperfections are meant to exist, why knock yourself out on something you cant fix?!
- And yes, soap operas...no matter how much we look down on them, ridicule them or mock them. Deep down within, all of us like watching mindless drama on television. Yes, it may not necessarily be the untolerable hindi shit that's alwys on TV, but EVERBODY has their soap-opera that can quite be called their fix. Not sitcoms, mind you, but soap operas. What's mine? Gossip Girl all the way. It might make me a loser , but I couldn't care less. If I had to choose between watching a movie and watching re-runs of GG, I'd choose the latter anyday!
- Gossip Girl=Chuck Bass=Unconditional Love. I think why I'm so in love with with Chuck Bass is not because he's charming and suave and etc etc, but because I feel like a Chuck Bass at times. Yeah I've had my fair share of mindlessnesses and narcotics but I've given it all up, just like that, for love. Yes, I do differentiate between having sex and making love. I do believe that even the best sex in the world can not match up to making love, that gives you a different high altogether.
- But sometimes I feel a little shaken at the mere thought of how much I have been through already. I mean at this rate, when I'm 30, I'll friggin want to kill myself cause I'll be so bored. I grew up way too fast, I barely had the chance to pause, take a look around and enjoy. My teenage has one more year to go and it really couldn't have got anymore eventful than what it has been like already. I intent to slow down for a while now. Enjoy these months, I have a feeling that there'll be a whole lot of memories to come, that'll last for a lifetime.
