Stick yourself into my vagina

Climb into my womb

And stay there,

You child. 

If I wanted to pet you all the time,
I'd just get a dog instead.
Please don't flatter yourself.


If I wanted to face a beast,
I'd just look in the mirror.
You're just like everybody else.

Force Feed Indifference

I'm off Facebook for a week. I want to keep myself away from the negative shit that circulates in social media.

I've been sketching again. 

Like crazy.

Although it's mainly doodles of faces, memories, body parts etc. My peculiar need to remember the tiny details makes me pour it out through my art. 

Intimate. Imperfect. Fragile. 

I have a date tonight and I'm not really looking forward to it beacuse I don't even know what I am looking for at this point. It's exhausting to be in a field which requires creativity on the daily basis. You're required to play the role of a magician, a wizard perhaps. I get horrible blocks sometimes.

Am I going to use him as my muse then? Nah, I just want a conversation with someone from a different world as mine. 

This tinder shit is not for me, although I hear this is how people hook up these days. I'm not looking for a random fling, it's too easy, there's no challenge involved. You don't even have to know the person who's sticking his genitalia into you. Now where's the fun in that? 

Striped socks and I dropped some acid some weeks (?) back and pretty much lay and watched the stars all night. It made me realise that I'm not who I used to be when I was 18. My needs are different, my wants are more emotional and less physical. 

We talked and kissed. It was nice. Simple, uncomplicated. 

You can fuck all the people you meet.

But after a point, you crave for more.

Intimacy, emotion, a connection perhaps.

It's not easy living in a world so completely detached from their spiritual self.

 But I will never change my ways. And for good reason, the world needs more people who, erm, feel. 

I will kiss you till you feel me in every bone.

I will love you till the point of breakdown, so you can love again.

Like a child.

In all it's innocence.

And fear.

But mostly, hope. 

Dignity

You're gonna badmouth me?

Tell them your dirty lies?

Baby, I'm a ronin,

I will survive.

Junkie

I get raped when I fall in love.
I get beaten.
Bruised.
I am left feeling abandoned when I fall in love.
Cheated on.
Hurt.
And yet I pick up the pieces and shake it off.
"I am a ronin"
I tell myself.
Perhaps things will change someday.
But they never do.

Live one more day.
Die a million deaths.
I can't control my depression anymore.
It's spiralling out of control.
I dream of death.
It makes me happy.
Maybe I'll be happy when I die.

There's no point living this shitty, loveless life anymore.
I don't even want love anymore, I want death.