Insomnia

I haven't been sleeping too well over the last couple of days. My nocturnal nature is slowly making way for insomnia. I cant sleep, no matter how hard I try. I don't want to sleep. It's like a disease that's draining me out. A disease which has been creeping in, slow and steady.

Watching Fight Club to solve my problems turned out to be a rather bad idea. Now, I am just some crazy-psychotic Tyler Durden fan. I mean c'mon, WHAT A FUCKING MOVIE MAN, WHAT A FUCKING AMAZING MOVIE, who the fuck can top THAT?!

But where I am right now is a lonely place. Except for the voice in my head which seems to be getting the better of me these days. Other than that, I am lost in my own forest, nobody can figure out where I am and how to get there. My counsellor tells me that at the end of the day, I am too much of a private person to enjoy being social and guess what, she's absolutely right. My perception of pleasure is fucked up. It's different from yours. I can never be like you, I'm too different and too indifferent to even try.

The results of my IQ test lies in front of me,something that my mother had tried really hard to keep away from me, but too bad, I'm more cunning than what she thinks I am.

It says that I have a score of fucking 129 (no shit!! :P), thus putting me in the category of "Intellectually Superior". In case you don't get how high it is, it's not high enough to get me into the MENSA right away, but let me tell you reader, it puts me towards the top, along with only 6.7% of the total population. Think you can beat that?

I take pride in my intellect. I value my intellect. But at the same time I never think twice before abusing it mercilessly!

Yay me? I think not.

It's always lonely on top.

Cigarettes. Coffee. And life.

But I wish there was more to it than that!

Love Is A Sad Sad Song

I drown.

In my pool of tears.

Of sweat.

Tears.

Semen.

Why can't you see that this wont last forever?

Don't look away.

Don't look at me.

I cry.

Myself to sleep.

Dreams.

Nightmares.

Why can't you see that this wont last forever?

I drown.

In my sea of sorrow.

Self pity.

Love.

Hate.

Indifference.

Why can't you see that this wont last forever?

There is no such thing as a happy ending....

Bisexuality.

I like kissing boys.

I like kissing girls too.

If you think that's gross then you shouldn't really be reading my blog now, should you?!

Anyway, here's a tribute to all those good times:

I like boys,

the way their touch gets my heart beating ten times faster,

the look that they have in their eyes when they want you.

their lust filled crooked smiles,

their aggression,

the way they always want to crush you,yet at the same time are afraid of hurting you,

they way they just are,

obsessing about boobs, beer and cars!

I like girls,

the way their hair falls on their face,

the way they act even more coy when they want you,

the way it makes me sigh in disbelief every time I kiss them,

their soft cheeks,

their smooth perfumed skin,

the way they are,

keeping their gaze on the ground yet aiming for the stars!