you...

I wish I could take back everything I've felt and thought about you just to start all over again.

You,  you've looked into my soul.
Tell me, what was it like?
How is it like on the other side?
Is it worth all this trouble?

I would have kept everything aside like always and helped you get through the mess.
I did it before and would have done it again.
Wasn't that the deal?

You said you loved me, but did you not think of me even once before you decided to give up?

I'm sorry I couldn't understand the things you told me, but I understand now.
I understand every word.
I understand how sincere you were while I wrote all our conversations and moments off.

I feel guilty and quite frankly ashamed of myself.
Perhaps I wasn't there as much as I should have.
I let my pride get in the way.
I let what others thought of you get in the way.
I'm sorry.
I didn't reciprocate to your feelings even though I perhaps should have.
I'm sorry.

I'm trying so hard not to let you fade from my head.
I'm clinging on to the memories so tightly.
But I know they'll disappear completely one day.
All I'll have left with me will be your name.
A name and nothing more.

You were always wise beyond your years.
Maybe tomorrow, when I'm where you were once, I'll be able to understand why you did what you did.
I was the first.
I will be the first one to catch up with you again.