Back to Back

It's been a while without the sex and the drugs. The clarity doesn't feel too bad. The uphill struggle to open up again has been fruitful because I feel like I've written my most favourite song yet. This leads me to believe that sobriety post-binge is much needed.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good fuck and I love good drugs but sometimes you really have to clear your head out before you dive in again.

I wonder if he feels my love for him when he's away. I wonder if he'll feel my love for him when he's away.

In March this year, I decided to actively fight my depression. I forced myself to get out of the house and plant myself in unfamiliar situations around unfamiliar people. It was scary to say the least. But I did good, it did me good. My black hole is for me to wallow in, not for the world to see. 

I guess artists are a bit more sensitive than regular folks, it's a pre-requisite almost. It doesn't matter what form of art you create or practise, it is essential that you are capable of feeling-it's a superpower almost.

He recites poetry as we sit under the evening sky. His voice is magic. We get off on cheap thrills like stealing kisses on the streets much to the envy and disgust of others. The romance, oh the romance! 

This summer, I thought I'd get my brains fucked out and then go back to work again. Instead, I found intimacy and I don't mean to sound like I'm growing old but maybe I'm starting to prefer the latter over the former. It could be just a phase before I go back to my old ways again but it's lovely, I hope this lasts for a little bit longer. 

Brave/Stupid

You give me all that I want,

So here I am, 

Running away.

"Don't fall in love", I tell you.

But you're not listening.

I mean what I say, I always do.

We hold hands and you give me butterflies.

I am 16 again.

I am strangely nervous about giving you my body.

Only when the time is right, only when the universe approves.

There will be love, there will always be love. 

Growing Up Pains

Is it alright to write music from your personal experiences of people around you or does that make you an asshole?

Well maybe I am incase it is but the gap in writing the new record has definitely brought some interesting changes. I guess I've been surrounding myself with people who are as sensitive so the influence has definitely rubbed off on me.

It's another summer. I've downed a couple of vodkas and all I want to do is play guitar and reminisce. But so far this summer has been of a different kind of love, so unfamilar.

I feel like a child, incredibly vulnerable.

Don't take advantage of my love.

Please don't take advantage of my love, I'm begging.

Annual Heartache

Nearly a year ago we were together. You whispered sweet nothings into my ear. I was slightly drunk, but not too much, just enough to lower my inhibitions.

I wanted you.

I wanted you to show me how attracted you were to me.

I wanted to explore your body, an unfamiliar territory. 

You kissed me, made love to me.

I was only looking for sex.

You took my heart, I couldn't get you out of my head.

We watched the stars at night-my favourite thing to do. 

Tonight, I don't know why, but I'm thinking of you.