Faith

My playlist has been the same for too long.

An unending loop.

So I've cleaned, I've cooked and I've done my laundry.

I've said goodbye to them all.

I can feel it all over again.

Maybe it is indeed time. 

I wish you wouldn't make me so desperate to join you.

But you were never the one to play fair. 

Let's Try This Again Later Sometime

I know how to cook a meal that doesn't involve the microwave.

I know how to clean, I know how to do my laundry.

I am learning about the universe, still, so that is probably a lifelong process.

I know how to read, I know how to write.

I know how to act perfectly domesticated.

I am still learning how much to give, how little to take. I am too young to have it all figured out.

And sometimes, all this learning, isn't such a good thing.

I find myself unable to let go of those who were never mine to begin with.

My heart is in knots.

I am unable to love.

I know how cowardly I am sometimes.

And yet, I don't want to change.

It's been a quarter of a century, I should know by now that I can't always have it all. 

Your hands remind me of a piano player I once knew.

It's magic when you run your fingers over my skin.

But you played me, oh you played me so well.