I Love You Mom

I wish I had my mother's grace. She'd always wanted to be a dancer when she was young and boy, she was the most gorgeous woman you'd ever see!
But her career was short-lived as she never really made her "passion" her "profession" and chose to be a professor instead, trading her ghungroo for reading glasses.
And here I am, 22 years later, awkward as hell and graceless like an old man with ADHD.


I wish my mother would take up dancing as a full-time career instead of a life of academics and family. I love her to death, but I don't want to be another her.

So beautiful, so surreal and so incredibly talented…but such a waste.

What's the point in being a good person?
My mother is one of the most honest, loving and hardworking people you will ever come across, but where did it get her? She's stuck with a problem child like me forever now!

Nice people always lose the race in this world.

Cherish the time that you spend with me.

I will be gone soon.

Forever.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

I am in pain.

I am in pain.

I am in pain.

In a strange new land.

Strange faces.

Strange memories.

Where nothing makes sense anymore.

I am in pain.

I am in pain.

I am in pain.

Only you can help me heal.

I should have cherished the time we spent together.

Taken pictures of ourselves.

Written each other little notes.

But we didn't.

We thought we were invincible.

But you're gone now.

It makes me sad.

I am in pain.

I am in pain.

I am in pain.

The loop is endless.

Musings at Midnight.

"Freedom was just another word, for nothing left to lose…"

There is a road that leads one to the Aravalli Guest House from the Ganga hostel (where some of my friends stay). It's covered with trees, the road is pucca and once the sun is down, feels just like a forest reserve.
I have been in a strangely reflective state of mind lately and while walking down that road tonight, I realised that everybody is always alone. They try so desperately to cling on to another, to share their world with another. But why? Not to let the other person in, but to only feel good about themselves.

What is freedom but being able to break away from all these shackles of attachment that bind us together!
I want to be free.
But I do not have the courage yet.