Floatation Devices

I've woken up alarmingly early for a Sunday and there's no hangover despite the cheap alcohol that's gone into my system the night before. Turns out drunk me is considerate enough to do the dishes and not leave them overnight. Oh well, small victories I guess.

The mixes are taking some time for me to wrap my head around but the finish line is getting close, quite close. Eight songs, many orgasms and a few bad apples here and there. Balance. L-R.

I tell A that I want to see him. He tells me something I cannot quite understand. Turns out he's trying to phrase something in hindi and google translate is a little bit of a fail. It's rather cute. He's so adorable, even from miles and miles away, through a damn computer screen. What a beautiful soul, I think to myself. There's not a hint of jadedness or cruelty in him. It feels unreal almost. Also, that accent, so yum! I could listen to him talk forever, it's a party in my pants. But superficiality aside, there's something strikingly different about his worldview. He sees me as a lover, always and forever. He doesn't want to own me, possess me like some sort of a commodity. He doesn't want to destroy me. He only wants to love me, make love to me. Mon petit prince, mon cœur, mon amour. 

Lover lover lover,
lovers everywhere.

I'm still friends with so many of them. They come around, they always do. The way I see it, after a while the sexual intimacy becomes secondary. I've come a full circle with some of them. We go our own ways, we live our own lives and yet sometimes we end up going home together and sleeping in each other's arms.

Life sometimes throws these little inside jokes and you can't help but marvel at how wonderfully weird it can get.


Anyway, it's Sunday and I have to mop the floors and pay the bills today. Mundane would be an understatement. My fingers are sore from playing too much guitar but like a drug I know I'll start getting itchy in a while and abandon domestic responsibilities to go noodle around for a little bit.



Sometimes in life, you have to jump into the sea without the safety of a floatation device. If you trust the universe, you'll always end up finding something to hold on to. I don't want to reach the shore. For now I'm happy swimming and not drowning. My floatation devices will help me withstand the scariest storms.
Trust.
It's always been more important than love.