'When there's will, there's way.'
You say.
But don't you know
You've got nowhere to go?
She doesn't love you like I did.
She doesn't love you like I could have.
Pick me, pick me please.
You come running back to me.
When she sets you free.
Yet you worship her.
To you it never does occur,
She doesn't love you like I did.
She doesn't love you like I could have.
Pick me, pick me please.
Someday she'll go away
Into a new place, into a new day
who's gonna build you up again?
who's gonna help you cry away the pain?
She can never love you like I did.
She can never love you like I could have.
Pick me, pick me please.
Before it's too late...
I'm your average part-time God and full-time joker.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
What I Do Best.
I am doing what I do best. Falling in love.
Yes, I am in love yet again, with Anthony Kiedis (go wiki him, if you don't know who I am talking about, you fool!)....Had picked up a second hand copy of his book 'Scar Tissue' from an obscure stall at the bookfair this year, but little did I know that it would fuck me up this bad.
However, I am not in love in the typical mush-infested way, it's just that he inspires me to write, to go ahead and finish those compositions and to believe in myself. It's okay to be randomly retarded. It's FUN to be randomly retarded. I am randomly retarded and so is he and look at where he is today!
Things have been progressing well (touch wood!) on the music front, I am starting to get over my shattered self-esteem, which seemed to have been hampering my ability to try new things, thus hampering my progress. But thanks to Kiedis, I am now OD-ing on RHCP, which seems to be a sure shot sign of a rapid increase in the bitch-gone-crazy side of me.
But lately, I have been feeling rather disconnected from people and I know that the problem lies in me. The thing is that I expect too much from people. I expect my parents to agree to whatever I say. I expect my boyfriend to understand me at all times. I expect my friends to be there for me 24*7...This not only causes friction in my social relationships, but it also makes me feel cruel, selfish and like a no-gooder.
I have been trying to deal with this the whole week, but it just does not seem to be working.
It's like my vicious cycle with the herbs years back. The more I'd try and tell myself to abstain, the more I'd lie to myself and go down the forbidden road, assuring myself that I am in-charge of my life and have the right to do whatever I want to.
On the brighter side of things, this term break has given me a lot more than I could ask for.
1. I have read and read and read. This has helped me clear my conscience, which was bugging me for becoming too shallow and Barbieish.
2. I have realised who my true friends are and who are the ones who fake it.
3. The report card, which was a pleasant surprise for a change, has inspired me to STUDY in class 12, get into a good college and then have the time of my life.
4. Music. Music. Music. i have rediscovered the joys of listening to Coldplay, Oasis,John Mayer and U2, for which I AM thankful.
5. Last but not the least, thanks to the term break and the sense of utter joblessness that comes with it, I have realized that there's more to life than constantly being surrounded by people. Being alone is SO much better when you have to do some serious self-analysis ad some self-discovery.
The deeper I look with me, the more I realize who I am and what I want from life, which helps a great deal when your mind is acting as an entity of it's own and showing you things that you DO NOT want to see.
I have come to terms with the things that I have, I things that I don't, the things I can have and the things that I can't. I have also come to terms with who I am. Yes, I am liberal, bisexual, irresponsible, mildly bipolar and have a constant craving for excesses. But hey, that's who I am and I love myself more than all else on earth, so come what may, I refuse to change myself!
Yes, I am in love yet again, with Anthony Kiedis (go wiki him, if you don't know who I am talking about, you fool!)....Had picked up a second hand copy of his book 'Scar Tissue' from an obscure stall at the bookfair this year, but little did I know that it would fuck me up this bad.
However, I am not in love in the typical mush-infested way, it's just that he inspires me to write, to go ahead and finish those compositions and to believe in myself. It's okay to be randomly retarded. It's FUN to be randomly retarded. I am randomly retarded and so is he and look at where he is today!
Things have been progressing well (touch wood!) on the music front, I am starting to get over my shattered self-esteem, which seemed to have been hampering my ability to try new things, thus hampering my progress. But thanks to Kiedis, I am now OD-ing on RHCP, which seems to be a sure shot sign of a rapid increase in the bitch-gone-crazy side of me.
But lately, I have been feeling rather disconnected from people and I know that the problem lies in me. The thing is that I expect too much from people. I expect my parents to agree to whatever I say. I expect my boyfriend to understand me at all times. I expect my friends to be there for me 24*7...This not only causes friction in my social relationships, but it also makes me feel cruel, selfish and like a no-gooder.
I have been trying to deal with this the whole week, but it just does not seem to be working.
It's like my vicious cycle with the herbs years back. The more I'd try and tell myself to abstain, the more I'd lie to myself and go down the forbidden road, assuring myself that I am in-charge of my life and have the right to do whatever I want to.
On the brighter side of things, this term break has given me a lot more than I could ask for.
1. I have read and read and read. This has helped me clear my conscience, which was bugging me for becoming too shallow and Barbieish.
2. I have realised who my true friends are and who are the ones who fake it.
3. The report card, which was a pleasant surprise for a change, has inspired me to STUDY in class 12, get into a good college and then have the time of my life.
4. Music. Music. Music. i have rediscovered the joys of listening to Coldplay, Oasis,John Mayer and U2, for which I AM thankful.
5. Last but not the least, thanks to the term break and the sense of utter joblessness that comes with it, I have realized that there's more to life than constantly being surrounded by people. Being alone is SO much better when you have to do some serious self-analysis ad some self-discovery.
The deeper I look with me, the more I realize who I am and what I want from life, which helps a great deal when your mind is acting as an entity of it's own and showing you things that you DO NOT want to see.
I have come to terms with the things that I have, I things that I don't, the things I can have and the things that I can't. I have also come to terms with who I am. Yes, I am liberal, bisexual, irresponsible, mildly bipolar and have a constant craving for excesses. But hey, that's who I am and I love myself more than all else on earth, so come what may, I refuse to change myself!
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