Happy Daze

Listening to music has always been a very personal thing for me. I like to be in my room, lie on my bed and listen to album after album. You can't take that away from me. I enjoy music best when I'm alone, in my dark hole.

It's been like that.

With dendrite.

With lovers.

Stoned out of my mind.

I can't let you take that away from me, all my memories.

I miss him when I listen to Joy Division sometimes. I rewind and replay all the afternoons of love, lust, pleasure, sin. It's all good, but only, it really isn't.

The greatest lover, gone.

I'm running in circles.

I've been running in circles for as long as I can imagine.

You can't take away my pain, can you? 

Honestly, my tarnished sense of self doesn't affect me as much he does. It kills me to think that it's over.

My soul mate's really dead.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone forever.

Tonight, I think about you like you still exist. I think of that one winter afternoon when everything changed forever.

Lover in the slight winter sun,

Filling my void,

With every kiss.

I want to bite him, touch him, kiss him. 

I want him to consume me.

I want to give myself to him.

Horny like bunny rabbits, we were the bad kids in town. They tell our tales to young lovers racing too fast, gambling it all away. 

Why couldn't we see the warning signs?

This insatiable thirst.

It never goes away.

But when I get weary of the chase

I want to join you soon, some day.