Turning A New Leaf

I want Phoebe and Mike more than Ross and Rachel or Monica and Chandler. 

So I don't mind trudging along till then.

What is love but madness?

You don't play piano, you don't have to.

But you kiss me so good that I lose myself in you.

And you always remember the tiniest of details, like how I like my tea.

Sometimes when I wake up in the wee hours of the morning, it feels so strangely satisfying to have your arms around me.

I like the way we sleep.

I love how you make me feel.

Let's stay in this time, falling in love is always the easiest thing. 

Coping Mechanisms

I don't know why I often take it out on my body.

It's the easiest, most brutal form of self-punishment I think.

The drugs have been in excess, should I stop? 

In the golden days of MSN Messenger and being 15 years old, I remember the time I watched Requiem For A Dream for the first time; high off my mind on dendrite. It was an intense time growing up. I learnt that we romanticise this concept of wasting away too much. It's not a love/pain that you watch on a screen. this is, infact, your life. 

He was the most gorgeous thing I laid my eyes on. His time was too short and the aftermath of the madness scares me till date. He filled me up with a kind of love that I am sure is out there for me somewhere, existing in its own form.

Surely, he couldn't have been the one.

If he were, then why am I still here? 

Lovers

I want to feel angry, hurt.

Instead, I feel ashamed of who I am starting to become.

He tells me it's not that bad, everybody is cynical afterall.

But he has kissed my mouth, he knows not what the truth is anymore.

I feel like I've corrupted his innocence, his bravery.

I watch him as he's asleep on my bed.

He wakes up briefly and grabs me; pulls me close to him and we spoon.

I kiss the hands holding me.

Shut my brain, go back to sleep.

Not all endings have to be happy.

Not all things have to end. 

Falling in love is always easy,

I want to stay in this time.