“We should christen the other rooms too...do it everywhere in your house” I had joked to him on a previous occasion. He was listening afterall.
After the disaster that was our conversation some time ago, I think we have both been trying to make an effort to be kinder to each other, be more open. I like when he tells me stories from his childhood. He seems happy, excited.
All I want is for him to be happy. All I want is for him to be without pain. I guess I’m falling a little bit in love with him everytime we are together. I feel a wave of affection as I clutch him in my bosom and run my fingers through his hair.
I notice the toothbrush is in his bathroom still. The one I’d used on a previous weekend when I was spending the night.
“I want to bite you. I want to pleasure you”
His grip around my neck strengthens and his thrusts get deeper. But he holds back. “I am scared I might hurt you”
Later I asked him where that came from. Very unlike him. “I read it somewhere”, he blushed.
**********
It feels quite nice to have a system. We start with making mojitos. He’s in charge of the main things and I do the rest. Subtle domestication as we set the table, clear it afterwards.
**********
It feels good to shower with him in the mornings and sometimes before going to bed at night.
“Wait, what’s the plan?” He asks as I wriggle around.
“Can you fetch my bag from the living room and meet me in the shower?”
I think it’s kind of hot that he wears the robe with a tiny stain on it. My stain on it. Tonight we have been naughty. And intimate. So intimate. So carnal.
************
While fucking him last night, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck. I’m falling in love with him. Fuccccckkkkkk”
“Where are you?”
Only this time I was right there, with him. I didn’t run like a coward, I didn’t stop myself.
My heart is going to get so, so broken eventually but I can’t help it. As I lie on him post coitus, I admit to him that my caution comes from a place of terrible abandonment issues.
He tries to understand, like everything else.
