I am the eternal Lord of all beings.
I am born through my maya
-defying all laws of nature"
I read the Gita for the first time when I was around 16. This verse and another one in particular really spoke to me. I've never looked at it as a religious book, more of the self-help category.
The Gita was said to be the sermon Krishna delivered to the hesitant Arjun before the battle of Kurukshetra, I really don't understand how it became the religious book of the Hindus! If you read it carefully, you realise that it talks about your eternal soul and your duty to be at one with everything. Isnt that what a self-help book also preaches?
A seemingly long time ago, when I met A, I'd ask him to tell me stories from the Bible. It was fascinating because the Bible has so many characters and so many different tales (or sermons?) on life in general.
But why I have a problem with all forms of modern religion is because none of them embrace paganism, or the worship of nature. If you think logically, humans would pray to the fire/earth/rain/sun gods and godessess for nothing else but a healthy life and a good harvest. Ancient human beings had their sense of right and wrong, not as individuals but as a community. How the fuck did we evolve from that to the sham that we call "religion" these days that propagates violence and inequality?
Monks dedicate their entire lives to attain salvation, to awaken their kundalini. But I am a cheater, I do drugs to open my third eye, I need chemicals in my brain to rid myself of all inhibitions. Arent inhibitions and a lack of awareness the only things stopping us from salvation?
Have you ever had your kundalini awaken, even if it is only for a moment? I've had two experiences so far and the easiest way to get there, honestly, is through orgasm.
Women's bodies hold the key to the universe. I keep saying this again and again because I really believe it to be true. We are receivers, carriers, nurturers. Life perpetuates from our wombs and men merely facilitate the process.
It also leads me to assume that there is no stronger human on earth than a woman aware of her sexuality. It is a gift and yet a curse.
A was making me orgasm once when we were both tripping on acid. But there was something strange about that trip, about one orgasm in particular. It felt like someone had loaded me on to a cannon and fired it towards the sky. There was a tingle and I felt an electric current shoot up from my tailbone straight to my brain. It awakened nerves whose existence I did not know of. My soul left my body and I felt like I was levitating, floating higher and higher into a white light. That is what there is at the end of the tunnel-a white light. But it was not what I saw, it was how I felt. It was overwhelming-like I wasnt supposed to be there yet, I had cheated my way into it. It was that extreme point of pleasure my body could take before it tipped over to pain. The line separating the two is so thin. Crossing over from one to the other is easy but never the other way around.
Have you ever cried because you've experienced something so beautiful, so intense? It's a strange feeling. I've tried to replicate it and the only time I've been successful is through stimulating my clitoris.
When I say that women are the perpetuators of life, I say that in the crudest way possible because we are also the ones with an organ which exists solely for pleasure.
Whether I decide to bear children and marry a man or not, I will stay sane if I can master the art of using my body as a vehicle to my salvation-my nirvana.
