Magic and Sobriety

When the coke hits your system, you feel invincible.
The music's too loud but you don't care.
You feel like a gym rat. You don't have to use your head sometimes. It's okay to let go because you trust yourself not to do anything too stupid.

Sobriety is a strange feeling.

I want to walk barefoot on the grass, lie down under a tree perhaps. Read a book. Pet a dog. I
want to play with your hair and complain about how much I hate insects in general.
I want to sleep on your bed, with your arms around me.
I want to feel protected and vulnerable at the same time.
I want to sleep peacefully, like a child.
Hold me.
But don't hold me if you don't want to hold on to me.

My perspectives have changed a little too much, to the point where it feels disorienting almost.
My cravings are drastically different.
At times I have trouble accepting who I've become.
One act of grace, kindness and I'm so incredibly infatuated with the idea of you.

Are you real? Or are you someone I made up in my head?

Strong hands, holding me as I come down from my orgasm.
I've never been treated like this before.
I've had better. I've had many. But somehow everything feels different this time around.
It all makes sense now.
There is always a balance.
Like the way the universe functions.
Like my life, if you put in on a timeline.

Destiny.
You reap what you sow.
I've harvested seeds of love, implanted them time and again.
People have pieces of my heart as I have theirs.
I hope they'll keep it forever, I will.

Show me your ugly.
Show me your love.
Your soul reaches out to me.
I can feel you in my heart, my head.

Maybe I'll leave everything behind and take off with you.
Just like that.
Gone with the wind,
Like magic.