Work , Women and other Wonderful things.

I'm back from work and instead of hitting the sack, I have decided to enjoy a drink and lose myself in oblivion before I let the pressure get the better of me. I can see myself being punished for being a lazy ass throughout 2009 and not studying, the shows are killing me, more than the shows it's the stiff opposition from my parents. I mean here we are, about to sign on that dotted line at You-Know-Where and my folks are going crazy trying to get me to STOP all this "music nonsense". But I think it's only fair, I am their only child afterall, they obviously wouldn't want my future to turn out all bleak when I have the "potential", but screw the UK, this is where I belong. This is home. In any case, I've given myself another 5 years, if I don't get there by then, I never will. So 5 friggin years is all I have, if this doesn't work out, I'll know that this is not for me and go back to plan 'B'..(my so called "ambition", which is too embarrassing to reveal here!)

There, now that I have written that down, I feel a little less disillusioned already.

But women are taking up much of my mental space. Don't get me wrong (my guy, who I CONVINCED will read this!), I love you more than you'll ever know but women are something. Uff, they are *something*. I admire them, they inspire me.

I watched her move tonight. She blew my mind. I'm still high on the way she was looking at me. I could be wrong, maybe she's not like me. But till I (which is never) find that out, I'd prefer not to let rationality shatter my rather momentary dream!

Now now, cheer up you retard, this bit is for you. Please don't let this be a reason for you to feel insecure. I know I have hurt you and I know that I've given you a hard time. But I'm working on it, I swear I am and I know that you're working on your bits as well. When you're with me, I feel complete and quite frankly that is all that matters. These random winter afternoons may not mean that much to you since you haven't quite forgiven me yet, but to me they mean everything-they're the only time when I get to see the real you and I love what I see.

So at the risk of sounding like Little Mary Sunshine on Prozak, here's to work, women and other wonderful things, may they never cease to fascinate me!

:)