Maybe One Day...

One day I shall run away.

Throw a few things into my backpack.

Grab some change.

A bottle of water maybe.

A journal to write my adventures in.

See places I've never seen.

Live off of whatever I get.

Shave my head.

Bottle away all my pride.

Get in touch with my long lost soul.

One day I shall run away.

Far from this place that I call home.

Find a new one.

Stare at the stars all through the night.

Without a care in the world.

Without an aim.

Without a destination.

Without pretense.

One day I shall run away.

But till then I'm just a vagabond at heart...

My Pick: Videos That Reek Of Awesomeness!

(in random order)

1. Can't Stop-Red Hot Chili Peppers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfOdWSiyWoc&feature=relmfu
2. Typical-Mutemath http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XVWR-5fiG0&feature=related
3. Hella Good-No Doubt http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtTj4cramPM
4. Let's Dance-David Bowie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4d7Wp9kKjA

Don't try to get inside my head,

Don't try to get inside my head,

Don't try to get inside my head.

I'm not even thinking about the things that you think I am...

Heartshaped

A bottle of vodka. A bottle of pills.

Might provide a few hours worth cheap thrills.

But they can't quite mend the broken heart.

A stranger in my bed.

Can't quite shut out the thoughts from my head.

He can't quite mend my broken heart.

Tell me how to mend a broken heart

Teach me how to find a brand new start

and I'll be forever indebted to you.

Am I not welcome in your head anymore?

Just because you walked out that door,

doesn't mean that you can run away...

Letting Go

"cause there's beauty in breakdown...so let go, let go..." -Frou Frou

These little pieces of the puzzle that conveniently stitch us together won't ever fall apart, will they? I'm scared stiff. I'm holding back tears tonight but I don't know if I can keep pushing them back for much longer. I want to let go of all my insecurities and jump right in, but I can't. I don't know what's holding me back.

If only it were that easy...

"Such boundless pleasure

We've no time for later

Now you can't await

your own arrival

you've twenty seconds to comply

So, let go, so let go

Jump in

Oh well, what you waiting for?

It's alright

'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

So, let go, yeah let go

Just get in

Oh, it's so amazing here

It's all right

'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown..."

Con. Sequence

Like they say (some very "smart" people, apparently) that every action has it's consequence. I hope the sinners are reading this in that case.

I need to stop ignoring my blog. Maybe THAT should be my resolution this year. *sigh

You Get Wiser As You Grow Older

It's always a good idea to record thoughts, events and feelings on paper. Once in a while, when you read your journal entries from the past, they remind you that you have, in fact, been taking all the right decisions.

The decision to deal with the trauma of rape instead of letting the shame and the agony scar you for life.

The decision to love again.

The decision to get rid of people who don't really give a fuck about you from your life.

The decision to start dreaming again.

The decision to make your dreams come true, one small step at a time.

And lastly, the decision to not give up your search until you have found your knight in shining armor.

(In my case, however, the knight found me and not the other way round!)

The Stoner

The pretty purple pills

That I take to go to sleep

Make me want to kill you

Make me want to weep.

I bury my head under a pillow.

Stifling the horrid moan.

My body wants me to stop.

But my mind asks me to get stoned.

So I take just one puff.

Let the smoke fill my head.

Then I take one more.

And my head feels like lead.

I meet some old friends.

And make some new ones too.

They save me from ennui

When they come to my rescue.

But time is my worst nightmare.

It ends my grand trip.

My dreams fall right apart.

As it cracks it's whip.

So I go back to bed.

Unwillingly wake up the next day.

The circus begins yet again.

I'm just a stoner. Okay?

The Journey

The road seemed long and winding.

The wind blew hard and cold.

Another day was to begin.

Another story was to unfold.

I walked straight ahead.

For so many a day and night.

Never to stop and rest.

only following that one ray of light.

The light vanished one day.

I was lost and I was confused.

So I changed my path

And walked on unbruised.

I took a long, deep breath.

Summoned the gods.

Asked for the strength to carry on.

Against the tides, against the odds.

I put my hands into my pocket.

And walked on for a mile or two.

The ray of light flickered again.

That's when I met you.

My journey thus came to an end.

And that's when I knew.

I found love.

When I found you.

My end of semester examinations (dreadfully dubbed as "end sems") start from Monday and here I am, unprepared, disinterested, lethargic yet scared stiff.

But atleast I made a pretty picture, here, see:

(click to enlarge)

How Much Worse Will It Get?

The truth is I don't know where I am anymore. I've lost track of myself. I cannot quite trace who I am, or rather, who I used to be.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME?

I used to be strong, so strong.

So brave.

Such a fighter.

I'm just lonely as hell now.

There's so much that I'd like to say, but who has the time to listen these days?

Everybody's busy.

Everybody is doing their own thing.

Living their own life.

I'm the only one living a lie.

But I guess I'm partially at fault too. I've been making all the wrong choices over and over again...

Stop.

Rewind.

If only it were that easy...

I Don't Like The Bitch You're Dating!

A sleepless boy.

His radioactive toy.

Bringing him joy.

As the girl dies a violent death.

The chap is nice.

Full of spice.

Cold as ice,

his girlfriend's a whore..

I miss being unconditionally happy.

You know, when you're just happy.

Carefree.

There's a soft, sweet wind blowing.

On an otherwise hot summer night.

You take a moment off.

And just breathe.

Value your life.

Smile to yourself, think of all the things you have.

Be reassured.

Be content.

Go back to sleep again, with that smile intact.

Ordered Disorder

There's something missing from my life right now. I haven't been able to pinpoint what it is, but I don't feel like writing anymore. Or for that matter, I don't feel like doing anything that is somehow associated with a routine.

It's like a mutiny. Against myself.

I don't know what it is about me that makes people love me yet take me for granted all the time. Everybody's doing it. Be it consciously or subconsciously, they put me on this pedestal, like I'm never going to let them down, forever be perfect, be there by their side.

While it's quite flattering to think that most people close to me feel that way, it's also quite heartbreaking to think that I do almost all the things that I do expecting nothing in return. I know for a fact that it's a selfish world and everybody's just concerned about their needs. They have better things to do about worry about someone.

So where does that put me?

I don't know, really.

I love. I give. I do things. Without expecting anything in return. I don't do it because it's the right thing to do, but that's just the way I am.

But right now, I'm just a little sad. I don't think anybody really cares.

No, this is not a random self-pity injected post.

I don't know what to feel anymore. Not because I'm upset or happy or any of those things, I'm just very very disillusioned.

Let's face it, I've never been very good with people-to-people relationships, I've never known where to draw the line and protect myself from the big bad world. I guess I'll never learn.

You see, I still think of that day sometimes. I wonder if things would still be the same if I hadn't encountered that day. Would I be better at this? Would it be less painful every time somebody/something broke my heart?

I guess I'll never know...

The time has come for me to choose.

Do I want to be a musician or do I want to be a rockstar?

The Ganesh Talkies

These are a few excerpts from our very first "photoshoot". Ganesh Talkies is not just my band, it's more like my baby.

Please 'like' us on facebook! :)

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Ganesh-Talkies/166092616748588?v=wall