Make love to me, over and over again.
Till I give in, to your affection.
Till I have the courage to let go, again, like nothing could ever go wrong.
I used to think I was invincible and it wouldn't matter, the hurt.
But it does now.
And I know I've been foolish to think that I'll always get back what I give.
It doesn't matter though, none of it matters as our fingers entwine and our lips find each other.
"I'm scared of sex"
So vulnerable, as I lie there, slightly numb from the debacles of the past.
You, you look so beautiful.
All I want is your arms around me.
I want you to bite lick kiss everything, everything;
Again and again and again.
I don't want to run away after the deed is done. I want to stay in bed and go back to sleep, in your arms. I want to hold you and I want to stay in till the dark from my heart goes away. Over and over again. What is happening to me, I'm just setting myself up for heartache.
I know. I know. I know.
We cuddle for hours, everything is so dandy.
And then you bring him up, my heart sinks.
He's a reminder of all the indifference and cruelty I've faced. I don't want to feel this way, but I do. I do. I try not to think about how cheap he made me feel but I do, I really do. I can't help it.
"My heart is vulnerable/And I won't give it to you"
Not because I'm incapable, but because I'm so incredibly afraid.
