Which brings me to my next point, men in Kolkata however know very well what they want-sex. Men here really ARE very sex-starved.
I decided to take a long walk today and thank god I carried my mp3 player with me. As I walked down the road all alone, I felt so vulnerable, a group of three men (or rather boys) literally molested me with their eyes and that too I wasn't even wearing anything provocative and neither was I looking gorgeous-just a reed thin girl in denims and a tee...why is it so bad here? Can't women take a walk down the road holding their heads up high? Thank god I had my music player on at full swing, I was unable to hear what they were saying to or rather about me, I don't think it would affect my already low self-confidence positively...
The more I interact, the more I seem to lose faith in boys, I don't really know if I can be with anyone for too long. Don't get me wrong, most of my best friends are male and I have had some really special moments with a few boys, but I don't think they can give me any more than that...And more importantly, I don't think I can give them anymore than that..
Let's face it, I am incapable of love- of the deep and unconditional type. What I have been experiencing all these years, off and on has been infatuation and not love and now, I don't even know if love is real and I don't even know if I have faith in it anymore...is finding love worth all the trouble and all the tears? I don't know and I think I'll stop looking for it...from this moment onwards...I'm better off without love....I'm a strong girl. I don't need it.
