Sometimes I get tired of being the wallflower, it hurts to be in the background all the time. I am usually not the kind who usually complains, but sometimes, just sometimes, I want to be someone else's first priority too.
It's probably because I've conditioned myself to feel in a certain way regarding certain things, which is why I hardly feel any form of emotional pain anymore. That certainly isn't a good thing. It may make me feel invincible, but it also makes me feel like an outsider. It makes me feel as though I'm one big unwanted piece in the world's puzzle.
The reason why I never let pride get the better of me is because at the end of the day, I have nothing to be proud of really. I'm as replaceable as anyone can be.
Trade me for somebody else- be it at work, college, relationships etc and nobody would probably even notice the difference. My existence is probably that superficial.
Sex is so deceptive.
In and out.
Out and in.
Such a motherfucking lie.
I'm your average part-time God and full-time joker.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
NoNameThankYou
I'm staring to lose hope and planning to leave this place for good. As much as I love Kolkata, it's about time that I ventured outside. Most people (or atleast the ones I observe on a day-to-day basis) are too full of themselves, they're too content with living a safe, predictable life but the worst trait that they seem to possess is not being open to new things. At all.
I don't like it, I don't like it one bit.
I feel like I'm wasting my youth here, wasting away all the precious years that will never come back. Years that I'll probably regret later on in life.
I've been stuck in the rut for too damn long now. It's already taken a toll on my mental health and it won't be long before my body starts to rebel either.
Speaking of which, I don't know why I go to bed so incredibly dejected every night hoping that things will miraculously be fine the next morning. Stuff like that is only for the movies. Real life isn't that easy, it's far too cruel.
What I'm going through right now is a strange mix of anger, sadness, physical pain, irritation and melancholy. It's a deadly combination I tell you. I could spontaneously combust into a million little piece to tell you the truth...
I don't like it, I don't like it one bit.
I feel like I'm wasting my youth here, wasting away all the precious years that will never come back. Years that I'll probably regret later on in life.
I've been stuck in the rut for too damn long now. It's already taken a toll on my mental health and it won't be long before my body starts to rebel either.
Speaking of which, I don't know why I go to bed so incredibly dejected every night hoping that things will miraculously be fine the next morning. Stuff like that is only for the movies. Real life isn't that easy, it's far too cruel.
What I'm going through right now is a strange mix of anger, sadness, physical pain, irritation and melancholy. It's a deadly combination I tell you. I could spontaneously combust into a million little piece to tell you the truth...
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Animal Instincts
After a point of time, the ostrich digs a hole and buries it's head into the sand, thus supposedly eliminating all possible worries/dangers.
I feel like an ostrich, someone who refuses to acknowledge the elephant in the room, who seems to be growing bigger and bigger with each passing day.
I make a decision, choose a path, walk two steps in that direction and run back to where I started from again. It's not because I'm sad. Or scared. Or incredibly demotivated.
I'm just too unsure of who I am starting to become with time.
I wish I could be an animal, any animal, for a day and not feel anything apart from the basics-the need to eat, defecate and copulate.
I feel like an ostrich, someone who refuses to acknowledge the elephant in the room, who seems to be growing bigger and bigger with each passing day.
I make a decision, choose a path, walk two steps in that direction and run back to where I started from again. It's not because I'm sad. Or scared. Or incredibly demotivated.
I'm just too unsure of who I am starting to become with time.
I wish I could be an animal, any animal, for a day and not feel anything apart from the basics-the need to eat, defecate and copulate.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
You Are Me?
So I walked around coolly with a rip in my shorts today, probably exhibiting my underwear to god knows who. But the good thing is that I was wearing nice, lacy ones so yea, that probably pacifies me a little bit.
I've been smoking a little hashish lately, just a little bit before going to sleep. After a point of time, I couldn't really resist it's charm. But (as always!) I've taken an oath to only smoke the green and not anything else, especially cigarettes.
Everything is always grey in life. It's never too white and never too black. It's always, just, grey. Maybe that's why human beings are such incredibly predictable and monotonous creatures.
I've been smoking a little hashish lately, just a little bit before going to sleep. After a point of time, I couldn't really resist it's charm. But (as always!) I've taken an oath to only smoke the green and not anything else, especially cigarettes.
Everything is always grey in life. It's never too white and never too black. It's always, just, grey. Maybe that's why human beings are such incredibly predictable and monotonous creatures.
Sunday, April 08, 2012
Monday, April 02, 2012
Narcissus
Why don't you like me,
is it because of how brash I am?
Always saying whatever is on my mind,
being completely honest about my feelings all the time,
is it because I'm too straightforward for a girl?
Why don't you like me,
is it because I don't act prim and proper all the time?
I never dress up like a lady should,
Never pancake my face, never brush my hair,
is it because I'm not pretty enough?
Why don't you like me,
is it because I have the body of a nymph?
Or the fact that I'd rather discuss politics with you
than the latest episode of a soap-opera.
is it because I'm too smart for my own good?
Why don't you like me,
is it because I'm perhaps better than you?
In more ways than you can even imagine.
And maybe you secretly want to be me, even if it's just for a day...
is it because of how brash I am?
Always saying whatever is on my mind,
being completely honest about my feelings all the time,
is it because I'm too straightforward for a girl?
Why don't you like me,
is it because I don't act prim and proper all the time?
I never dress up like a lady should,
Never pancake my face, never brush my hair,
is it because I'm not pretty enough?
Why don't you like me,
is it because I have the body of a nymph?
Or the fact that I'd rather discuss politics with you
than the latest episode of a soap-opera.
is it because I'm too smart for my own good?
Why don't you like me,
is it because I'm perhaps better than you?
In more ways than you can even imagine.
And maybe you secretly want to be me, even if it's just for a day...
Death Is The Ultimate Salvation
I see all the things, I read between the lines just like I used to. But I don't react anymore. It's not worth it. I'd rather keep it all bottled up and hope to forget all about it one day.
That's the strange thing about life, just when you think you're not going to let those tiny little flickers of black affect you anymore and you're strong enough, you get sucked right back into the whole cycle of heartbreak, cynicism and indifference again.
My horoscope said that the week that passed was supposed to be all about heart-to-heart conversations. It had to be the most inaccurate predictions ever. Au contraire, I shut myself out even more this week.
My recurring nightmare is turning into reality. I don't know why but I feel like I was born in the wrong body, in the wrong generation and definitely in the wrong place. Either that, or I'm just plain stupid.
I see so many things being done to me by all those who are close to me, see so many things being done to me everyday. But I choose not to speak out against anything anymore. After a while, their obstinate and mindless logic really gets to me!
So yea, there can never really be a balance between the yin and the yang. They work inversely. If one increases, the other automatically decreases and vice-versa.
One can never ever truly be happy, not even when stoned out of their minds.
To be truly happy, one has to die.
Death is the ultimate and the only salvation!
That's the strange thing about life, just when you think you're not going to let those tiny little flickers of black affect you anymore and you're strong enough, you get sucked right back into the whole cycle of heartbreak, cynicism and indifference again.
My horoscope said that the week that passed was supposed to be all about heart-to-heart conversations. It had to be the most inaccurate predictions ever. Au contraire, I shut myself out even more this week.
My recurring nightmare is turning into reality. I don't know why but I feel like I was born in the wrong body, in the wrong generation and definitely in the wrong place. Either that, or I'm just plain stupid.
I see so many things being done to me by all those who are close to me, see so many things being done to me everyday. But I choose not to speak out against anything anymore. After a while, their obstinate and mindless logic really gets to me!
So yea, there can never really be a balance between the yin and the yang. They work inversely. If one increases, the other automatically decreases and vice-versa.
One can never ever truly be happy, not even when stoned out of their minds.
To be truly happy, one has to die.
Death is the ultimate and the only salvation!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
I can't remember the last time that I had a crush on someone. It's such a beautiful feeling, to be in awe of somebody, be completely besotted.
Falling in love is a different ballgame altogether.
I wish I could be 11 again and crush on someone, Nick Carter perhaps.
My last crush was Zooey Deschanel. So here is a picture, in memory of her:
(pic from http://www.wallpaperextreme.com/Celebrities/Zooey-Deschanel/Zooey-Deschanel-21.JPG)
Falling in love is a different ballgame altogether.
I wish I could be 11 again and crush on someone, Nick Carter perhaps.
My last crush was Zooey Deschanel. So here is a picture, in memory of her:
Here He Comes!
He kept his woman close to his heart, a dagger on his bedside table.
To be safe.
He needed to be safe.
The whole universe was conspiring against him, or so he thought..
To be safe.
He needed to be safe.
The whole universe was conspiring against him, or so he thought..
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
B(lo)ody
I pity those who constantly crib about their body-too fat, too thin etc.
I was very jittery about mine too. After the rape, I spent a good deal of time cutting it, burning it and loathing it. I couldn't stand my body. It felt as though it was scarred beyond repair. There were invisible, irreparable wounds all over it. I felt so ugly. My self confidence was at an all time low. I remember how the kids in my class would go out to play lock and key during the lunch break in school and I would always sit back in the classroom. I'd cook up excuses every time they asked me to join them. They stopped asking after a point of time. I hated my body even more then.I felt angry-why was my body so weak, why was my body not able to fight back?
I hated the male body even more. The only thing that they were good for was causing pain.
It hurt. It hurt like hell.
Like somebody was tearing my body apart.
I used to spend hours in front of the mirror. Staring at my body. Seeing carefully the changes that is was undergoing. When I was 13, I was pretty sure that my body wasn't the same as before. Thus I needed to move on. I needed to stop hating and blaming my body for what had happened to me.
Somehow, it had become super sensitive, extra alert. Any casual touch would set off the alarm. I don't remember when and how that toned down. I guess it was a slow, gradual process. Besides, once the intoxicants started started entering my body, I was no longer so paranoid. I was starting to calm down.
(But that however DOES NOT MEAN THAT I RECOMMEND GETTING HIGH TO SEEK SOLACE. It does not work that way, at all. It had severe consequences in my life)
The decision to start letting other people touch me, kiss me, hug me and make love to me was taken one random afternoon when I came back home from school. It was almost impulsive. I cut off my hair, cut it very short to sort of celebrate and start again from scratch. It was very therapeutic.
I decided to open myself up once again. I was back in sync with my body. Standing naked in front of the mirror was no longer painful.
It's never been since.
There's not a single day that has passed since, when I have not felt beautiful-both inside and out.
I was very jittery about mine too. After the rape, I spent a good deal of time cutting it, burning it and loathing it. I couldn't stand my body. It felt as though it was scarred beyond repair. There were invisible, irreparable wounds all over it. I felt so ugly. My self confidence was at an all time low. I remember how the kids in my class would go out to play lock and key during the lunch break in school and I would always sit back in the classroom. I'd cook up excuses every time they asked me to join them. They stopped asking after a point of time. I hated my body even more then.I felt angry-why was my body so weak, why was my body not able to fight back?
I hated the male body even more. The only thing that they were good for was causing pain.
It hurt. It hurt like hell.
Like somebody was tearing my body apart.
I used to spend hours in front of the mirror. Staring at my body. Seeing carefully the changes that is was undergoing. When I was 13, I was pretty sure that my body wasn't the same as before. Thus I needed to move on. I needed to stop hating and blaming my body for what had happened to me.
Somehow, it had become super sensitive, extra alert. Any casual touch would set off the alarm. I don't remember when and how that toned down. I guess it was a slow, gradual process. Besides, once the intoxicants started started entering my body, I was no longer so paranoid. I was starting to calm down.
(But that however DOES NOT MEAN THAT I RECOMMEND GETTING HIGH TO SEEK SOLACE. It does not work that way, at all. It had severe consequences in my life)
The decision to start letting other people touch me, kiss me, hug me and make love to me was taken one random afternoon when I came back home from school. It was almost impulsive. I cut off my hair, cut it very short to sort of celebrate and start again from scratch. It was very therapeutic.
I decided to open myself up once again. I was back in sync with my body. Standing naked in front of the mirror was no longer painful.
It's never been since.
There's not a single day that has passed since, when I have not felt beautiful-both inside and out.
Cheap Thoughts, Only A Buck.
I'm phasing out more often than normal these days. I feel perpetually tired. It's like my body and my brain are two separate identities-functioning independently, almost as though they're fighting to prove their superiority over one another.
It's quite the riot.
But all is not dark and gloomy. Isolation is the key to emancipation. You phase out into your personal space-which cannot be invaded by anyone else. The relationship with yourself is the most sacred, all others are shallow and superficial. They are a trap. They curb your freedom. The chain you down.
They make you dependent on an external factor rather than yourself.
What I feel for the monster is a strange mixture of love and hate. While I love how it has changed me as a person-made me braver than the usual, more aware of myself. I hate how I have to try so hard to lead a supposed normal life-something which comes so naturally to most.
Having said that, I am not the only one with a sob story. Everybody has one. It's how well you hide it that matters.
It's quite the riot.
But all is not dark and gloomy. Isolation is the key to emancipation. You phase out into your personal space-which cannot be invaded by anyone else. The relationship with yourself is the most sacred, all others are shallow and superficial. They are a trap. They curb your freedom. The chain you down.
They make you dependent on an external factor rather than yourself.
What I feel for the monster is a strange mixture of love and hate. While I love how it has changed me as a person-made me braver than the usual, more aware of myself. I hate how I have to try so hard to lead a supposed normal life-something which comes so naturally to most.
Having said that, I am not the only one with a sob story. Everybody has one. It's how well you hide it that matters.
Friday, March 16, 2012
bleh
I have started smoking again, after restraining myself for TWO BLOODY YEARS, I'm back to where I started. I feel really guilty but I really can't help it. This ongoing phase is pretty much sucking the life out of me.
I rolled a nice little joint for myself a few nights ago and finished it coolly without an aorta of guilt or shame.
Maybe this is my way of getting back at life. If it's going to be this shitty continually then I might as well end it sooner, one cancer stick at a time. (note: marijuana does not have too many ill-effects on the human body, it's tobacco that does)
I don't know why things are not working out for me. I have always been a believer in karma. I have always justified all the drama in my life by telling myself that it'll pass and lead me to a better future. But when will that 'better future' become the present?
I've lived for 20 years now and I'm sorry to say that the past 8 years have been extremely cruel to me for some reason or the other. It's not fair. I know, despite all my ramblings I do have a life better than many others so I shouldn't really crib, but the problem is there seems to be no end to my so-called misery.
I get past one obstacle and another one comes and hits me in the face.
I have stopped feeling sad and depressed. It's almost comical and amusing now. How bad could it possibly get from this point?!
Fate, seriously, stop picking on me.
It's high time that you did.
Why don't you pick on someone else instead, there are so many others like me out there!
I rolled a nice little joint for myself a few nights ago and finished it coolly without an aorta of guilt or shame.
Maybe this is my way of getting back at life. If it's going to be this shitty continually then I might as well end it sooner, one cancer stick at a time. (note: marijuana does not have too many ill-effects on the human body, it's tobacco that does)
I don't know why things are not working out for me. I have always been a believer in karma. I have always justified all the drama in my life by telling myself that it'll pass and lead me to a better future. But when will that 'better future' become the present?
I've lived for 20 years now and I'm sorry to say that the past 8 years have been extremely cruel to me for some reason or the other. It's not fair. I know, despite all my ramblings I do have a life better than many others so I shouldn't really crib, but the problem is there seems to be no end to my so-called misery.
I get past one obstacle and another one comes and hits me in the face.
I have stopped feeling sad and depressed. It's almost comical and amusing now. How bad could it possibly get from this point?!
Fate, seriously, stop picking on me.
It's high time that you did.
Why don't you pick on someone else instead, there are so many others like me out there!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Urban Disconnect
It's like I have a talent for putting my heart and soul into all the wrong things, the wrong places and the wrong people. As a result of which my faith in humanity gets shattered from time to time. Over and over again.
The last couple of weeks have been excruciating for me. But I won't complain anymore. There's nobody who will listen anyway.
God's unwanted child.
Lonely as hell.
So I walk.
Away from this wretched city.
Away from my pain.
Away from myself.
I've walked too far away to come back home.
I've walked away, again...
The last couple of weeks have been excruciating for me. But I won't complain anymore. There's nobody who will listen anyway.
God's unwanted child.
Lonely as hell.
So I walk.
Away from this wretched city.
Away from my pain.
Away from myself.
I've walked too far away to come back home.
I've walked away, again...
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Sweet Song- Blur
"I'm a darkened soul
My street's all pop music and gold
Our lives are on TV
You switch off and try to sleep
People get so lonely..." -Blur
I dream the same dream every night now. I've never felt so lost ever before in my life. I wish there was a sign-to show me the way. I've never felt this confused.
The memories are starting to fade. Disappearing bit by bit.
But they haven't gone away just yet. All it takes is one push, everything goes back into rewind mode again.
I remember the intensity in Monster's eyes. The colour of the shirt he wore. His flawless body. How amused he seemed. Yet determined.
I remember words. Stray actions. But nothing else.
Of the most twisted sexual encounter of my life.
Abuse is a mental thing.
The body heals in no time. The brain, unfortunately, isn't all that naive.
"It takes time to see what you have done
So I wean myself off slowly..."
And despite all the things that Monster made me go through, I still wish him well. I hope he leads a good life.
Some part of me wants to be 12 and do it all over again. I don't know why. Maybe because I am damaged beyond repair.
This isn't who I have become. This is who I am.
"But I hope I see the good in you come back again
I just believed in you..."
My street's all pop music and gold
Our lives are on TV
You switch off and try to sleep
People get so lonely..." -Blur
I dream the same dream every night now. I've never felt so lost ever before in my life. I wish there was a sign-to show me the way. I've never felt this confused.
The memories are starting to fade. Disappearing bit by bit.
But they haven't gone away just yet. All it takes is one push, everything goes back into rewind mode again.
I remember the intensity in Monster's eyes. The colour of the shirt he wore. His flawless body. How amused he seemed. Yet determined.
I remember words. Stray actions. But nothing else.
Of the most twisted sexual encounter of my life.
Abuse is a mental thing.
The body heals in no time. The brain, unfortunately, isn't all that naive.
"It takes time to see what you have done
So I wean myself off slowly..."
And despite all the things that Monster made me go through, I still wish him well. I hope he leads a good life.
Some part of me wants to be 12 and do it all over again. I don't know why. Maybe because I am damaged beyond repair.
This isn't who I have become. This is who I am.
"But I hope I see the good in you come back again
I just believed in you..."
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
Maroon, Macaroon
I miss being a bitchy-bitch at times. If there's one thing that all this unnecessary aging is instilling in me, is to be sort of passive to all that is hurled my way. It's strange how all the noise doesn't bother me anymore. All the whispers seem to come from down below-all the more reason why I don't even pretend to get agitated anymore.
I have recurring dreams of the monster sometimes. That is the only thing that scares me. What if I meet him again? Do I have the strength to not break down if I do?
I have been sober for too damn long. I've been acting responsible for too damn long. I've been working too damn hard.
I need to loosen up.
I deserve a break.
Bring out the hashish.
It's high time that I bake a batch of brownies.
I have recurring dreams of the monster sometimes. That is the only thing that scares me. What if I meet him again? Do I have the strength to not break down if I do?
I have been sober for too damn long. I've been acting responsible for too damn long. I've been working too damn hard.
I need to loosen up.
I deserve a break.
Bring out the hashish.
It's high time that I bake a batch of brownies.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Happy And Gay
I was watching an episode of Roadies today, yes, ROADIES, (please don't judge me for it) and I was quite taken aback by their views on homosexuality in India and in general. I didn't quite expect them to speak out in favour of homosexuality so openly, to be very honest. It was very bittersweet. While I really appreciate the producers' (they are also the judges and the hosts of the show) sensitivity towards people with alternate sexualities and the effort that they made in trying to propagate the fact that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL OR TRANSGENDERED, I felt extremely sad at the same time as I watched them interview a candidate who was gay. Why does someone's sexuality become a matter of concern to others in a reality show based on adventures on a bike, how is it even relevant?
Why should the fact that someone is gay or not matter so much to others. We never give a second thought when it comes to accepting straight people in our lives, but why this sudden paranoia when it comes to the LGBT community?
Sadly this ignorance has nothing to do with education. A lot of so called "educated" people still think that being gay is a "disease" or a choice that one consciously makes and can thus be undone by a visit to a shrink.
It's really very sad. I feel disgusted by such ignorance around me. But sadly, people are so obstinate that it's very difficult to make them see the real side of the story.
I often wonder what it would have been like if the person that I am in love with was a woman. Would people treat me as nonchalantly as they do now or shun me like an outcaste, an untouchable? A woman can please me as much as a man can. I don't differentiate between the two. The are both equal to me. Yes, I AM BISEXUAL and if you have a problem with that, well, then you're the one who should change your mindset. There is nothing wrong with me, the problem lies with you.
This contestant on Roadies (whose name, face etc were blurred for privacy) was speaking on behalf of not just himself, but a lot of people and it was so painful to watch. It's so sad how he kept apologizing to his parents for letting them down, ruining their reputation. Why? Because he is gay. Isn't that pathetic? I can't even imagine the trauma that he has to live with, like it's his fault.
Educate yourself, world.
Don't be so prejudiced, without knowledge.
Today you point your fingers at them, tell them that they don't belong.
Tomorrow, somebody else's definition of an outcaste might just be you!
Why should the fact that someone is gay or not matter so much to others. We never give a second thought when it comes to accepting straight people in our lives, but why this sudden paranoia when it comes to the LGBT community?
Sadly this ignorance has nothing to do with education. A lot of so called "educated" people still think that being gay is a "disease" or a choice that one consciously makes and can thus be undone by a visit to a shrink.
It's really very sad. I feel disgusted by such ignorance around me. But sadly, people are so obstinate that it's very difficult to make them see the real side of the story.
I often wonder what it would have been like if the person that I am in love with was a woman. Would people treat me as nonchalantly as they do now or shun me like an outcaste, an untouchable? A woman can please me as much as a man can. I don't differentiate between the two. The are both equal to me. Yes, I AM BISEXUAL and if you have a problem with that, well, then you're the one who should change your mindset. There is nothing wrong with me, the problem lies with you.
This contestant on Roadies (whose name, face etc were blurred for privacy) was speaking on behalf of not just himself, but a lot of people and it was so painful to watch. It's so sad how he kept apologizing to his parents for letting them down, ruining their reputation. Why? Because he is gay. Isn't that pathetic? I can't even imagine the trauma that he has to live with, like it's his fault.
Educate yourself, world.
Don't be so prejudiced, without knowledge.
Today you point your fingers at them, tell them that they don't belong.
Tomorrow, somebody else's definition of an outcaste might just be you!
I Think I'm Dumb
I didn't kill myself like I thought I would. Just been getting high at every given opportunity.
Fuck everything. I enjoy living in solitude anyway.
It's been about 7-8 years since I first started listening to Nirvana. In Utero will always be my favourite album, no matter what. I love them so much it hurts!
Fuck everything. I enjoy living in solitude anyway.
It's been about 7-8 years since I first started listening to Nirvana. In Utero will always be my favourite album, no matter what. I love them so much it hurts!
"Haters Gonna Hate!"
I have recently discovered that negativity sort of keeps me going and it somehow makes me feel superior than most of the mindless and alarmingly shallow people that throng this city. I don't mean to offend anybody by saying this but my blog has two very distinct kind of readers-those who enjoy reading what I write and (probably) find inspiration from this and those who stalk because they love to hate me.
Honestly, I don't give a fuck about the latter. It's ironic how people like these act like such heroes in the virtual world-ganging up against someone, spreading hate for no apparent reason. But look a them in real life-so desperate for their 15 seconds of fame. Such incredibly boring and vacant people. I could almost feel sorry for them.
It's amazing how people talk about my private life incessantly. It's even more amazing when they choose public platforms and social networking sites to do so. It used to bother me earlier. But I've been fortunate enough to have collected snippets of advice and wisdom from some of my seniors, all of who have unanimously told me that the more people hate on you for no apparent reason, the more they are jealous of you for achievements they haven't experienced. So anyway, let them dwell in their negativity. I have enough positive vibrations within me to keep going.
Those of you who read this and somehow draw strength from it. Well, it's a two way thing, you make me strong as well. You push me to keep going and I would like to thank all of you for forcing me to get back here. Your feedback is very valuable to me.
The only piece of advice that I can offer, is that you need to love yourself. Everything else will follow suite. Try and love yourself. It's may be a very hard thing to do, but it's not impossible either. I've been trying to start loving myself unconditionally recently. It's a long road, but I know I'll get there someday!
Honestly, I don't give a fuck about the latter. It's ironic how people like these act like such heroes in the virtual world-ganging up against someone, spreading hate for no apparent reason. But look a them in real life-so desperate for their 15 seconds of fame. Such incredibly boring and vacant people. I could almost feel sorry for them.
It's amazing how people talk about my private life incessantly. It's even more amazing when they choose public platforms and social networking sites to do so. It used to bother me earlier. But I've been fortunate enough to have collected snippets of advice and wisdom from some of my seniors, all of who have unanimously told me that the more people hate on you for no apparent reason, the more they are jealous of you for achievements they haven't experienced. So anyway, let them dwell in their negativity. I have enough positive vibrations within me to keep going.
Those of you who read this and somehow draw strength from it. Well, it's a two way thing, you make me strong as well. You push me to keep going and I would like to thank all of you for forcing me to get back here. Your feedback is very valuable to me.
The only piece of advice that I can offer, is that you need to love yourself. Everything else will follow suite. Try and love yourself. It's may be a very hard thing to do, but it's not impossible either. I've been trying to start loving myself unconditionally recently. It's a long road, but I know I'll get there someday!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Want More?
